Boys and Men Need Protection Too

“This man needs protection.” Those were the words spoken to my spirit as I stood across from a man of stature and strength. He was just a talking – sharing random stories and facts about his life, and for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why the Lord had just stated those words while he was still mid-sentence. Protection? From who? From what?

In my last blog, I shared the heartbreaking reality that not only are women and girls being trafficked, but boys and men are too. Everyday people are assaulted in countless ways. And everyday people need recovery, respite, and redemption from the things this life exposes us to. As with the female counterpart, the scope of things that boys and men need protection from is even larger than abuses that happen in the dark. And it’s something we need to be aware of and equipped for as the guardians of the little boys and big men in our lives.

I wanted to make a few phone calls and send out several texts to ask the men in my life to answer these questions for me:

• Who and what makes you afraid?

• Who and what did you need protection from as a boy?

• Who and what do you need protection from as a man?

I know I would be asking a lot to have done so, because it exposes the vulnerability of a man that must be sacredly held and protected by the one to whom it is entrusted. Though I still want to know these answers from a range of men, I know I must be prepared for their answers and able to safeguard them once I receive them. And I know for the man to expose himself to me in sharing, I would want to be as steady an anchor as the Lord would hold me to let him know he won’t be left adrift and uncovered.

So, though I could not hear it from the horse’s mouth, I sat there and thought about what do boys and men need protection from? After writing a list of things, I boiled it down to three categories: from adversaries, from tempters, and from self.

Adversaries

Our biggest adversary will always be Satan, and he’ll often deploy who and what he may to do just as Scripture tells us – steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). In the Word, we see specific attacks against the male. When they have been impaired in infancy or removed from position, those who were to be under their care are exposed to attack and harm. And their ability to reproduce after their own kind is limited. We see evidence of this from the beginning when the king of Egypt in Moses’ time said to the midwives, “When you help the Hebrew women in childbirth and observe them on the delivery stool, if it a boy, kill him; but if it is a girl, let her live” (Exodus 1:16). In the case of Job, it was his livelihood, family, and body that were destroyed by the enemy, though at the Lord's consent. And that's just what Satan sought to challenge Job's love for Him over - that the Lord protected Job and all that he had, therefore his love was not sincere (Job 1:1-2:10).

Sometimes enemies are physical persons operating out of their flesh and sin. They seek to consume and plunder the man’s character, resources, family, even life. David was always on the run from King Saul and other enemies who sought his kingship, possessions, and breath. When I was standing in front of that man I mentioned at the beginning, the first thing my eyes began to do was look. They spanned his property, and I considered the many attacks that could come upon what the Lord had given him to govern.

Tempters

“Come.” Those are the words that beckon many men to their destruction without them hardly being aware they’re being led to slaughter. Though enemies are not always readily apparent, tempters always show themselves shrewd and deceitfully good and pleasing to the man. Promises of satisfaction and the end of suffering drip from the lips of the people and things that want to become God in the man’s life. Proverbs 7 always comes to mind as the text describes a simple man being led astray and ultimately to his death by a flattering woman. I wrote in a recent blog about how I and many women have unfortunately been her.

Throughout Proverbs and other places in Scripture, we see temptations coming from every side and in every form. Enticing men to join in acts that destroy themselves and destroy others. Tempters show up as friendships, intoxicants, business opportunities, and fantasies to have dreams fulfilled that end up as nightmares. I never realized the pressure some men face as a friend once told me in one night, he had at least seven women proposition him for sex. Their words weren’t outright but roundabout and alluring requests to come for dinner, a massage, or Netflix and chill. Jackie Brewton, a teen relationship expert, once shared that a middle school principal called her to speak, and he specifically wanted her to target the girls. At a school dance, they had been the aggressors and terrified the boys with their advances and gyrations. Boys and men need protection from things that look and sound good but will not prove to be good for them in the end.

Self

Before Jesus was crucified, He told His disciples that the prince of this world had no hold on Him (John 14:30). Because of our fallen state, this isn’t true for any of us. Because sin not only lives outside of us but in us, we need protection from ourselves. When people say God knows my heart, it’s a wonder if they know their own hearts. Scripture tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure” (Jeremiah 17:9a). In James we’re told that God doesn’t tempt us, but we’re tempted by our own evil desires and lusts; and when those desires conceive, they give birth to sin, and sin when it is full grown, gives birth to death (James 1:13-17). Contrast Paul’s words with Jesus’ and we get the picture of our true selves: “I know that nothing good lives in me” (Romans 7:18a). It’s a dangerous thing when a man does not recognize that he is a danger to himself. If it is always something and someone outside of him, he’ll never be able to take measures to not only protect others from his wicked inclinations but his own body and soul from himself too.

I love the second half of Romans 7. I spent many days in that chapter in tears because I did not understand the things I did and could not stop doing them though I desired to with all my might. It’s a reminder that men’s strength is not in their willpower to endure, overcome, or act but to depend - depend on God. I heard a powerful message recently about this and invite you to listen. A man once told me, “Sometimes we need someone to be strength for us too.” Though they want to and are often told they must, men cannot carry the world on their shoulders. They should not be made to suck it up and not cry when they experience hurt, loss, and defeat. Our boys and men need to be able to be fragile and vulnerable and breakable – because they are. They need protection too.