Belle

Praise. That is all I could give God as I looked out at the great expanse of land before my eyes. It was beautiful. And it was abundant. A few weeks ago, my son and I had the privilege of staying on the grounds of Bellehaven. A bountiful ranch owned by a couple I had met on my trip to Israel who in addition, owned three stately creatures: Shiloh, Alex, and Belle. And if you know me, you know I love horses. Only more reason for praise.

Our hospitable hosts had promised us a carriage ride upon our arrival, and I was leaping inside. Yet just a couple of hours before we were due, I received a text that we may have to delay our stroll as thundering rain poured in their city and ours. Despite the forecast I believed for a different outcome. Something about knowing the heart of God for me and how much I delighted in all their home had to offer gave me hope. And it was not deferred.

When we finally arrived on the property, the sun shone high in the sky, and you could barely tell a drop of rain had fallen. The Lord had made a way again. We set off for the stables and the meandering trails that awaited us. When we finished, she asked if we wanted to be dropped off by the house, but I told her no. Who’s going inside when there was so much to be enjoyed right there in the middle of those fields. And that we did. My son and I chased each other through the horses’ training obstacles and raced across the verdant grass that seemed to stretch miles. This was abundance.

In another season the Lord had highlighted the name Belle to me. As a curious learner, I looked up the definition and discovered it means abundance. It wasn’t long after that I came across this verse that would give me a picture of what I was viewing in that moment:

“Praise our God, all peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.” (Psalm 66:8-12)

I had lived through those verses feeling the very weight of being tested and refined, imprisoned and burdened, ridden over, drowned and burnt. And yet I believed from the harshness and stretching of that season, God could make use and good of it. When I thought I may never see the end of my tears, He brought them to a slow close from ones of pain to ones of joy. Since, His hand has blessed me with the delights of my heart more times that I can count. And it was as if Bellehaven was a climatic moment of realizing that I had finally been brought into that place of abundance.

As I was seeking more background on this particular Psalm, I was amazed at what the author had written in his study:

“But you brought us out to rich fulfillment: The psalmist said to God that he understood, that in some ultimate sense, their affliction was “from You” – it was allowed by God Himself. As they continued to trust in God, He vindicated Himself and their trust, not only delivering them from difficulty, but bringing them out to rich fulfillment. The rich fulfillment would never have come apart from the many difficulties.”

And it was true. My fulfillment in that moment would not have been as rich and gratifying had I not known what it was to lay in ash and pray for death at times. It isn’t in the absence of pain, trial, and tragedy that God makes things beautiful; it is in the midst of them. As much as we don’t like to admit it, our gratitude and dependence upon God would be nonexistent if our troubles were. We would have no need for Him. But in the words of my son who lay sick on my lap one evening, “thank you God for my problems.”

The author of the study captures this sentiment justly with this inclusion:

“We remind ourselves that this is in a list giving all the earth reasons why God should be praised (Psalm 66:9-12a). We would think that [such] difficulties should be avoided if we want others to praise God, but the psalmist described life lived for God as it really is – and knew that understanding God as He really is will draw men and women to praise.”

When I look back over the years of my life, particularly the last six, there was much difficulty that to the onlooker had no reason for praise. That was devastation. That was poverty of love and provision. And yet in all that ruin and lack, God was most abundant in my life. He, like the definition of the word, well and richly supplied me with all that I needed. He was overflowing fullness. He was my treasure and wealth. In Him my longings were quieted, and my unrest was brought to peace. Like the vastness of those fields, I look back and see abundance. I look up and give more praise.