I Want to Have Something to Give
- Whitney Nicole
- Mar 2
- 11 min read
Almost four years ago, the Lord opened a door for me to return to work and do something my heart loved – serving those who had experienced the greatest cruelties and woundedness the world could offer. Last year, one of our volunteers asked if she could gift the survivors a mountain retreat. In the past week, we finally got to experience a much-awaited blessing.
One of my favorite moments was calling another volunteer who recently started serving with us and asking if she wanted to go at the last minute. One of our staff members had become ill and now the room had been made for her to come. The sheer joy and gratitude she expressed warmed my soul. She stated when she first read about the retreat in our volunteer update, she wished and then prayed that she could attend. The Lord heard her, and the Lord answered her. After offering the space that had been made available, she called me back-to-back posing a new response or question she had. On her third call, she humbly stated, “I don’t have any money.”
At that moment my heart was full. I was reminded of how the Lord answers the desires of our heart and how He in turn makes provisions for them and much more. It delights Him to delight us (especially His daughters) and give us good gifts, ones we don’t have to pay for. I thought about the numerous times Yahweh had done this for me and through me for others. It was then my delight to tell her, “You don’t have to have any, everything is covered.”
One of the activities our host volunteer presented to us prompted the main message I want to share with you today. She had taken the blessings written in Proverbs 3 and written each one on a separate piece of paper she then hung on the wall. She told us to read them all and then stand by the one that spoke to us the most. When I reached this one, it gave me pause:
Now you know this girl has dreams of living in a quaint farmhouse with fields abounding with life, beauty, and horses. So, perhaps you’re thinking I chose it because of that statement about barns. It was intriguing for sure, but that’s not the thought that came to me when I read it. This was:
“I want to have something to give. To God. To my son. To my village of loved ones. To the one and ones God has yet to give. To the stranger. To the work of my hands. To me.”
And I realized that if I were to have something to give then I needed to be overflowing. Overflowing with goodness, light, love, capacity, health, and gifts that I had been given to share with others. I didn’t want to be a depleted woman who had nothing to offer others because there wasn’t enough to even offer myself.
That volunteer who got to go on the retreat at the last minute led her first class this past week using The Well-Watered Woman by Gretchen Saffles. (This study is going to be so good!) At the beginning of our class, she put on a beautiful worship set that filled the room with rain showers and delicate piano tunes. She told us to write or draw what it meant to be well-watered. One of my coworkers had written all the words that came to mind sharing this:
Well-Watered
Immersed. Drenched.
Lavished Upon.
Nourished. Full.
Lacking Nothing.
Thriving.
Living in Divine Purpose.
Glorifying.
Stable. Kept.
Rooted. Refreshed.
Beautifully Growing.
Satisfied. Quenched.
Saturated. Rich.
Contented. Bathed.
Strong. Grounded.
I wrote my thoughts more as a poem:
Well-Watered
Drenched
Covered from head to toe
In the fullness of His love,
His goodness,
His abundance
I am not dry
I am well-watered
My springs flow to those who need a drink
I have no need to run or hide myself away
To be stingy with this water
I have enough
For you, for me
Come and drink
The Father has lavished us
With an ever-flowing gush
Of rushing streams
Streams of living water
During that activity at the retreat, after everyone had shared why they chose their particular sign, she told us to take them down and read what was written on the back of the paper. She stated that the blessing we desired, required the obedience He commanded.
My card gave me the answer to how I would have something to give. And that is to give my fruit fruits to God. To give Him priority.
The secret to being well-watered is giving God our priority.
Rabbi Jason Sobel gives us an understanding of the biblical roots of first fruits with this statement: “Firstfruits in the Bible holds significant spiritual and symbolic meaning for followers of Yeshua – Jesus. The concept of firstfruits refers to the practice of dedicating the first and best portion of one’s harvest or income to God as an act of worship and gratitude. It is a way of acknowledging that all blessings come from God and expressing trust and reliance on His provision.”
This past December, when I was visiting with one of my sisters, she shared how her husband had challenged her not to give her tithe haphazardly. But to truly pray over it and offer it as a gift to the Lord. It convicted me to desire the same rather than relying on my bank to print and mail a check to my church each month and that amount less than the tithe. To give God my tithe would require trust for His provision because my budget was pragmatic and lean and every dollar was already assigned somewhere each month. There were no more dollars, especially not hundreds that could be added to that “Church Giving” line item.
Despite what the numbers said, I made a point to pray and give faithfully at the start of the year. And do you know that the Lord showed Himself faithful again in just a short time? It was the day my son and I were finally headed to my dad’s for our rescheduled visit due to a much-needed car change in December. I was running behind my timeline to get on the road, but because I wanted to make giving my first fruits to God a priority, I still stopped by my church to drop off my tithe before picking my son up from school and heading out. It wasn’t until I returned to work the next week and looked at my email that I realized I had gotten a pay raise. The day the notification had been sent was the day I left for my trip. The day I made giving unto my Lord my priority.
It wasn’t such a significant raise as to cover my full tithe, but it was a start and helpful. I found it interesting that my new yearly salary had $320 as the base number. Whenever I see 320, it always reminds me of Ephesians:
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
In many ways, Yahweh does this in my life – immeasurably more than I ask or imagine.
This concept of giving God our priority isn’t just with our monetary assets though. I believe it first begins with our very being.
Typically, at the beginning of the year, I write a blog on my One Word for the year. There were so many other messages that took priority, I didn’t get around to it so, I’ll weave it in now. This year my One Word is two words: presence and focus. Since last year, the Lord had been dealing with me about being more present with Him and with people, putting them before my to-do list. Presence looked like being intentional with Him and with them. I started walking in it and am still on that journey.
I believe He added focus as something He wishes to exercise in my life because I need balance. It’s easy to swing the pendulum and be far right and then far left. I enjoyed filling my calendar with people, but I realized there were still things to do. At home, at work, and in the community around me. It was a matter of giving myself to whatever and whoever was before me and knowing when it was time to step away. I needed to prioritize seeking God and then asking Him what my priority should be.
One of the things a sister taught me is that she gives things allotted times. She may not always have one or two hours to dedicate to something (that in reality could be given five or more hours at a time). But the idea was to give each task or person what she could during her day. And when that time had reached its fullness, to put it down and move to the next.
I’m still walking out how to be like Jesus. I have a note on my desk that says “Yeshua was interrupt-able” to remind myself that I can be interrupted. I don’t want to live so rigidly that I can't give an extra hour to a struggling coworker or survivor or that I can’t pull away from my planned day off for my to-do list to meet up with a sister I haven’t connected with in a while. I give myself space to have “I don’t feel like it Lord” evenings and then pray and trust He will help me redeem the time the next day.
I believe it was a word (or two) spoken by a friend who helped me see this need for both presence and focus. The first thing he told me was that whatever I wanted to do, I should just do it because I would be successful. If only he knew the struggles of my life – the fear of failure, incompetency, and not being good enough – that had held me back for far too long. Thankfully through long tilling seasons, the Lord has grown my God-fidence in Him to be and do as He calls me. My friend’s words were another seed from the Father telling me to walk in that calling.
Upon reading one of my blogs, he immediately subscribed to it and complimented my writing. I told him I probably wouldn’t write for another six months due to my schedule, and he reacted to having to wait so long for another. Something in his desire to want to read the thoughts of my heart moved me. Initially, when I spoke those words of my inability to write I was sitting at the beginning of January with a full calendar. There were birthdays and out-of-town trips and much work to do at work that I couldn’t see the space and time to write. But his words reminded me that I could do it if I set my mind and pushed past laziness – relaxing when I ought to be writing. And you know what? I was able to write in January more than I had in a long time because the Lord had removed some of my scheduled time with people, and He had pushed me not to be wasteful with the hours He had given me to re-prioritize. Balance.
At some point, after I started my blogs, I questioned if I should keep going. Is anyone even reading them? Does it matter what I have to say? A deceased man taught me that it did. I believe a coworker had shared about this man, and had listed a link to his blog in the announcement. When I navigated to it, I found a word he had written moons ago, but it met me in the present. I realized that I was first writing out of obedience to God. He had given me a gift with words and wanted me to use it (He’s still pushing me to use my mouth more to speak and allowing me to baby step as I read aloud what I write to you). The second thing is that I was writing to leave a legacy. Whether to my birthed and adopted children or my spiritual children who are yet to be born. Just like I found that deceased man’s word exhorting to my faith in the Lord, perhaps my words will be there years from now for someone to stumble across them and do the same.
If I had to summarize what it will require for me to have something to give here’s what I’d say:
I must give God my priority. This looks like intentionality in being with Him, talking to Him, praying unto Him, and reading and studying thy Word. In His presence is where I am restored, reformed, and reignited in my mission. As a full-time working mom, this may not look like the hours upon hours I once had when the Lord had me home and when I had no one else to care for but me. But it may look like taking that fifteen minutes in the morning to walk around my room and proclaim His goodness and my neediness. It may look like me standing at the sink washing dishes and doing all the things needed to get me and this kid ready for the next day and praying. But it could also look like me setting aside that hour to go and study something He’s been leading me to. As a mom, I am also responsible for instilling Yahweh as a priority in my son, too. So, this looks like listening to and chatting about a chapter of the Bible on our way to school and work or asking my son to get his devotion before bed and us taking ten minutes to read and pray. It looks like rehearsing scriptures on the walls around our home whether at dinner or as we recline on his floor.
I must glorify God and show my gratitude for the gifts and means He’s given me rather than burying them away or keeping them for myself. This means pushing past laziness to write and prepare my blogs and posts. As the Lord is refining and teaching me, it is my onus to share with whosoever will listen. It means scheduling two months in advance (because this is what adulting has come to) that lunch date with a sister because we need to be seen and cleaned by one another. When I was chatting with a lady who wanted to donate some things her mother had stored for years, she told me that she had spoken the following words to her mom: “Momma, how you gonna bless people and you got it in the room.” I don’t want to keep my gifts and treasures hidden in the room. Whatever the Lord has given me I want to be the faithful servant to give unto Him and others – whether my presence, my finances, or my words.
I must hear the Word and do the Word. When I make intentional efforts to grow in my faith and apply the truths that I know, then I am a person who brings life rather than drains the people around me. My attitude is corrected. My time is interrupt-able to see and meet the needs of the people around me. I complete tasks and assignments with diligence so that I am helpful and productive in my place of employment. I honor people with how I treat and value them. I die to my selfish desires and ambitions that cause fights, quarrels, and decay in relationships. I honor my body as a temple of the Lord, not giving it to gluttony and sexual sin but to self-control and proper exercise.
I stumble and fail at these things and so will you. But my secret is to get low, repent, ask for help, get up, and keep going. I do this because I want to be a woman who has something to give.
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