Curse Words @#*%! That Yield Results

Last year my curse word was process. This year it’s time.

I hated that word—process. It was a word you didn’t say. I cringed inside every time God would put it in my face. I didn’t want to go through the process. I didn’t want to be processed. Ironically enough process also involves time. There is a certain order that things must be done and addressed. I could not skip past this part or overlook this step. Even when I saw what was ahead, I couldn’t make a choice now to make the choice that could only be made then. It was knowing something was inevitable and having a timer tick loudly in your ear, yet nevertheless having to wait for the ding to start moving. I couldn’t do it any sooner, though all that was within me wanted to. It was distressing.

Now my curse word is time. There is no definitive date or deadline. You’re just told that this is going to take time. I don’t know when my next move will be enacted or even what it will be. I’m just given a list of things to do in the meantime—you see why I’m starting that hate that word too. I don’t know what is worst. Knowing the inevitable and the time in which it is to take place but not being able to do anything until you’re commissioned. Or being unsure about your next step and when you’ll even have to take it. The instruction is just: WAIT.

This is where my word for the year comes in. Some of you may be familiar with the One Word un-resolution rather than the list of things you write down at the beginning of the year and then bail on by week three (BTW, how’s your list going?). But the premise behind this is to seek God for one word He wants you to focus on for the year. Your doing so will uncover truths about you; God, whether his nature or the presence He desires to have in your life; and how He’s seeking to grow you in this particular area. My word is surrender. One definition renders as follows: to give up or hand over (a person, right, or possession). They forgot something in that list when I saw it a few weeks ago. Surrender not only the things you’re hoping for even if they’ve been promised. Surrender not only control of how your story unfolds and the stories of those involved. But surrender your timeline of when anything will happen and any promise given. Time—I hate that word.

How am I dealing with this?

Writing. Writing to share my journey, the uncertainties, frustrations, and sadness I at times feel. Writing about the things hoped for, sharing with pages what I wish I could instead share with a person.

Prayer. Talking to God about all these concerns and sharing my emotions with Him. Then waiting for His reply which gives me encouragement and confirmation again of how good He is and so His gifts when we receive them rather than take them.

And lastly, focus. Focusing on the to-do list I’ve been given by my Commander and Chief to work on in this season. Turning over things hidden, growing, healing, creating, and going.

To be honest, I do need the time.

It’s not too late for you to start your new year resolution over whether you read this today or well into the summer. Check out the One Word That Will Change Your Life Worksheet to get started. I also recommend reading or listening to the book; it’s a quick read and is usually free through one of your library’s streaming media services.

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