Dirty Wedding Dresses

I remember when I used to believe that lie too. You’ve already done it – physically, in your mind – what’s the point of waiting now? And though these used to be my words, somehow someone freshly speaking them set an alarm off in my head that there are a lot more people willingly caged in a dungeon of their ill thinking. But I’m here to let you know the key is in your pocket. And you can be free. For in Christ, your dress isn’t dirty anymore; it’s white.

For in Christ, your dress isn’t dirty anymore; it’s white.

At a certain time in culture, a white wedding dress signified a woman's virginity. No virginity, no white wedding dress. Wear another color to indicate you didn’t exercise purity and self-control. Don’t be a lie to all these fine-dressed folk with eyes gazed at the center of beauty. Tell the truth and shame the devil. That’s exactly what I intend to do.

Somehow, he, our enemy, has duped us into believing we’re of less value because our sheets have been stained with residue. And though people may want to make this argument about freedom, choice, desire, passion, and status, I believe at the heart of it comes the question of worth. What am I worth? See, I think discovering the answer to that question changes everything in the world.

Our thinking, just like in the garden, has us doubting the goodness in the boundaries of God. Sex feels good, and I want my goodness now. And the reality is, I need it. It’s my antidote when I’m feeling happy, angry, sad, stressed, rejected, alone, in love, and in lust. And besides, I’ve already done it. Why wait now?

Wait because the perception and management of your and others’ value are at stake.

Notice I didn’t say your actual value was in question, but it is your estimation of your value. And it is the consequential way you treat yourself and others and allow them to treat you and themselves in return. Anytime we have unprotected sex (and I’m not talking about without condoms; anytime we have sex outside of covenant before God it's unprotected), we unconsciously do damage to ourselves and others. This hits us at our emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental levels, whether we recognize the effects or not. And it also solidifies a narrative that’s the furthest from the truth – the body was made for self.

But what does God say?

At the height of my battle with sexual sin, this passage probably had the most profound effect on the way I saw not just my dishonorable exploits, but how I saw myself:

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 Corinthians 6:12-20)

This passage says so much. But I want to bring it back to my initial question: What are you worth? You are worth the sacrifice of a life. You are worth not just anyone, but God, dying for you. With these unholy and ravaged vessels, the God of the universe said He still wants you. And though the text says don’t make your body one with a prostitute, all of us are in fact that prostitute He purchases, not to abuse and use but to love and protect.

I believe most people get careless and shameless about sex because they’ve never known what their bodies were worth. Whether someone took advantage of us, or we believed the lie that unprotected sex was to our advantage, shame entered the scene and colored the lens of our self-perception. I’m not worth what I was before. This attitude has been shaped by the misuse of the body. We use other people’s bodies and other people use ours. And the more we do so, the more we diminish our desire to safeguard our bodies as something to be treasured and honored.

I believe most people get careless and shameless about sex because they’ve never known what their bodies were worth.

The world assigns a net worth to people based on the assets they hold. One of the outward displays of such status is often in their place (and for some, places) of residence. I still find myself breaking, oohing and ahhing at beautiful homes as I’m heading down highways and byways. I think, who lives there and must be nice. Now I want you to stop and think about this earth-shattering reality. The God who created all things – I mean He painted that skyline you see outside your window and dressed every field with the most beautiful of watercolors. He formed breathtaking mountains and waterfalls and every depth and expanse of man and sea – That God who makes all things and can design His dwelling to be the most magnificent of edifices of all time decided to make His residence you.

He calls your body a temple. One He intends to dwell in. One He purposed to give Him worship. So, what is a body worth that’s indwelt by the Architect of the universe? It’s certainly not valueless. No, it’s of infinite worth. How so? If you back up one verse (to one of my favorites), we’re told:

“And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11). When God died for you, paying the penalty for your sin, and you accepted His sacrifice, making Him your Lord and Savior because you couldn’t pay for it yourself, He washed you. And He gave you a new garment, a wedding dress for your betrothal – He the bridegroom, you the bride (Revelation 7:9-17). Your body is set apart for Him; it’s holy. And your dress, it isn’t dirty anymore; it’s white. So, who should be given access to such a regal building? Who should we allow to uncover our nakedness? Only the One who is willing to care for, cherish, and commit to it – forever.

Your body is set apart for Him; it’s holy.

And your dress, it isn’t dirty anymore; it’s white.