Masada: Who Is Your Fortress?

Who can I run to

To share this empty space?

Who can I run to

When I need love?

I’m a bonafide 80s baby (I wasn’t born near that tail end just trying to make it in). And I grew up listening to 90s R&B; Escape being one of my beloved groups. So many nostalgic memories… late-night excursions from the Upstate and to the Chuck with mom, the wind blowing, my brother and cousins by my side as we’re all squished in the back of my dad’s ride. Those moments at times seemed a bit more carefree. Little did I know my heart was racing towards captivity every time those lyrics played on the radio. For how I chose to answer them would determine who I’d make my escape. Who I’d make my fortress.

One of the most epic things of my life just happened a few weeks ago. I got to go to Israel! And it was nothing short of amazing. Walking where Jesus walked (except on the water… we decided to sit that one out). Seeing magnificent ruins that had been painstakingly uncovered (praise God for archeologists – not my calling; I’m more likely to kick them down and pick up rocks to throw instead). One of the questions we'd commonly get asked once we reached US shores again was what was your favorite part? I really loved it all… even the not-so-lovable sites because of what happened there. But I guess a few places rose to the top of my list. This one is number two: Masada.

Up until this trip I had never heard of Masada nor the great tale of what went down on this high, fortified mountain many moons ago. But what a story and apparently, there’s a movie too! The Cliff Notes version (Whitney Nicole Translation) is that these Jewish slaves decided they had had enough labor and imprisonment, so they escaped the Roman Empire, and guess where they ran to? You guessed it – Masada. Masada had been built under the rulership of King Herod (one of them… The Great I think) in case they needed a refuge. Turns out, they never used it. But now these rebels on the loose were about to make it their home.

They looted a nearby city and then went up that mountain and barricaded it from entry. And they were successful. For six months. Six months it took the Romans to use the Jews' own people against them to build a bridge and launch their weapons to tear down the enclosure that had kept them out. These Jewish slaves decided that though defeat was imminent, victory would be theirs in the end (and I guess if that’s what you’d consider a win). So, someone gave this epic speech about how they’d rather die free than live as slaves and everybody agreed. Ten men were chosen to kill them all and the last man would fall on his sword so at the end the Romans would be taking no captives only corpses.

And do you know those fools did it! The clan consented and everybody got taken out. Everyone except one momma who wasn’t having it and protected her little chicks and hid and the last assassin; he didn’t take his own life. And because of him, this story survived to live another day. And my heart got challenged by another idol.

One of the things I especially loved about this trip is that I went with my brothers and sisters in Christ. And at the various sites, one of our three pastors who headed up our journey would teach us an applicable lesson from the Word. There were two questions the pastor left in my heart atop that great and mighty mountain:

1) Who and what do I look to for safety?

2) What are the fortresses I’m retreating to?

Such heavy questions. Such unsightly answers if we’re honest. I’ve looked to a lot to give me security, pleasure, and rest. Especially when I consider the safety and love my heart longed for like that 90s quartet had sung about. I wanted to find provision, respite, and comfort for it; and yet for most of my life, all I did was leave it depleted, weary, and longing. Don’t get me wrong, I believe God gives us rescuers. I believe He gives us safe havens. I believe He provides for the needs and wants of our hearts through people and things. I think the challenge of our hearts is seeing them all as gifts and provisions from the Giver and finding our ultimate security and satisfaction in Him instead.

I’ve had to learn (and I’m still learning) that when I run to my fortresses, when I seek to satisfy my own soul, I’m no longer trusting in the goodness of God. In fact, I doubt it. How could He know best? How could He provide what my heart truly longs for? I think that I know what’s best and that I am the best conduit for my provision. My heart’s cry and prayer is that where I battle with these false narratives, God would forgive me and give me grace to believe. To believe that He has my best intentions at heart and that He is the best deliverer – not it, me, she, or he.

During the thick of my recovery journey after the devastation of my broken marriage, this song found me:

When the storm clouds rise

And the sky is dark

And I'm pressed with anxious care

I've a safe retreat in the strong, high tower

For no ill can harm me there

I'll hide in Your safe retreat

Hide in Your safe retreat

When the storm clouds fly

'Til they pass me by

I will hide in Your safe retreat

This is at the core of every human heart – the need to feel safe. And even more, the human whose heart has been shattered and broken and is fragilely trying to keep together. I thought it ironic that a picture

an ex had given me so painstakingly yet beautifully depicted the storm of our relationship that I’d eventually need shelter from. The rain that came beating down atop this little boy’s head were the verses to a passage in Isaiah. And the thing that protected his head was the Word of God:

You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in their distress, a shelter from the rain, and shade from the heat. (Isaiah 25:4)

I discovered that indeed it had been God who had been my refuge and His Word my very sustenance during that season of my life. Contrast this with the Jewish slaves who looked to the mighty mountain of Masada to shelter them and preserve the lives they desired to keep. In the end, it was insufficient. All things and people who are not God eventually will be. So may we like the Psalmist (Psalm 91:2) make the anthem of our hearts no matter the storms and enemies that pursue us:

“He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust.”